Spotting a Narcissist can be tough because one of their greatest talents is lying and creating false stories that they even seem to believe. Their use of Gaslighting and truth-spinning keep you constantly wondering if it’s YOU that’s the crazy one. The following red flags are common in almost ALL Narcissists.
- Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) .
- Exaggerated need for attention and validation. Despite all of their grandiose bragging, narcissists are actually very insecure and fear not measuring up.
- Perfectionism and great need for control. This doesn’t apply to ALL they do, but they have an image to uphold. When others help them with certain tasks, narcissists can become very demanding and almost impossible to please. Their way is the right way.
- Lack or responsibility – deflecting and blaming. Of course, when things don’t go their way or end up perfectly, it’s not their fault. Some narcissists have this game down, They can blame you for things and string up some craziness that even you start to wonder and feel like YOU let them down. Truth is, they almost never take responsibility …and when they do, it’s only in halfway:
“I’m sorry IF you think…”
“I’m sorry YOU feel that way…”
“I messed it up, but (insert why it’s not really their fault)…” - Lack of boundaries. Narcissists generally believe everyone believes and want the same things they do. They feel entitled to things that may not be theirs and do not like being told “no.”
- Lack of true empathy. Some narcissists have learned to feign empathy, but empathy is one of those things that can’t always be faked. They are selfish, so empathy fails when it gets in the way of them getting something they want.
- Lacks Emotional reasoning. You explain why their actions hurt you and they say they understand…but, nothing changes…. Narcissists may act like they understand, but they clearly don’t.
- A display of egotistical and conceited behaviors or attitudes.
- Struggles to make and maintain deep, interpersonal relationships. For starters, narcissists don’t like to be vulnerable, but also, because of their selfishness, most “friends” won’t put up with a one-sided relationship where they give but never get.
